Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
