haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
