Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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