He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
