in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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