Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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