it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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