would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
