my phone needs a breathalizer
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
