It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
