I'm laying in your front yard are you home
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
