Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
