I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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