I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
