Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I believe in your delicious
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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