Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
