The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Randomize
