Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Are we still banned from the library?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
