great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
