Cold hands, warm shart.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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