we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
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All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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