they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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