Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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