Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
His hands were made for my vagina.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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