He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
