I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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