i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
