I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize