As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize