I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
