I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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