afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
