This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
