Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize