This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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