No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
