I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
