I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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