Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
