Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
