At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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