NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
