Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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