how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
