so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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