If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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