Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
