I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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