Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
