hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
