Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
