So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
