Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
