@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
