Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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