I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
