He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize