Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
