Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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