I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
