Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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