just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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