some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you traded sex for a burrito?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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