Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Randomize
