So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
