Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
