By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
