Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
