I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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