im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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